It Might Get Loud

This poster is pretty genius.

Bon Iver - Blood Bank

bon iver - blood bank from Parker on Vimeo.

We Are Not Alone

"The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." - Romans 8:26-27

We are not alone in our prayers. In our sighs. In the very things that surpass words. Unable to speak? Process? Understand? Put to words?

You are not alone.

We are not alone.

Pray As You Can

Read this in "Sacred Space" this morning and it made me think:

"One of the chief dead-ends in developing my spiritual life is to want to have someone else's spiritual life. If, for instance, I visit a convent one day, or see a monastery on TV, I may find myself thinking, 'I wish I could pray like them.' But if I am a school teacher, or an accountant, or looking after my children all day, then that rhythm of prayer may just not be suited to me. Pray as you can, not as you can't is an obvious maxim, but one that is frequently overlooked, leading to a lot of unrealistic expectations and frustration."

"Finding my own rhythm, a way of praying that suits me, may involve some experimentation with times and places and with different styles and approaches. At times I will need to persevere and not give up on something too easily. I also need, however, to be prepared to say, 'This doesn't work for me.' Finding a way of praying I can sustain is an important step in developing my relationship with God."

Isn't that encouraging? First off, it reminds me that we are all called to pray. It's not an optional piece of life. We were created to interact and be in relationship with God, and prayer is a major component in that journey. The struggle shouldn't be, "should I pray" but rather "how should I pray". Find ways that help you engage with God. Sometimes I journal my prayers because it helps me focus. Praying out loud helps me remained focused as well. Silent prayer doesn't work as well for me, simply because I start thinking about a million other things. Going on walks around the neighborhood is a great exercise as well. If you're not sure to pray, start with prayers you know. Open up the Psalms, or perhaps pray the Lord's Prayer. Let those prayers start the journey but then open up to other prayer pieces. Be honest with God. Tell him how you're feeling.

The other thing this quote did was give us freedom to be who we are. Comparison brings one of two things: pride or shame. Pride because you've assessed yourself next to someone else, and you fared well. Shame because in the comparison, the other person looks better than you and you feel "less than". Neither are good, healthy postures. Good self-assessment is welcome, but one should never be shamed into trying harder. The motivation should always be, "God, shape me to be who you've made me to be. Continue to create where I've destroyed, continue to grow where I've withered. Make me truly alive."

Lastly, I'd encourage you to find some books on prayer to read. Pick up books that address the understanding of prayer like Richard Foster's "Prayer", CS Lewis' "Letters to Malcolm", Anthony Bloom's "Beginning To Pray", or Eugene Peterson's "Answering God: The Psalms As Tools For Prayer". Also consider books that actually call you to pray along with them like the Puritan's "Valley of Vision", Walter Brueggemann's "Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth", Phyllis Tickle's "The Divine Hours", or the Jesuit's "Sacred Space".

Would we be a people who pray regularly as God has made us to be. It's in that place that we'll continue to be shaped and refined.

Shalom Seekers: A Third Meditation on Psalm 34:14

"Swerve from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it."

The first couple meditations focused in on refraining from evil, engaging in good, and finally we end with this last phrase: "seek peace and pursue it." The word for peace in Hebrew is "shalom" which although it does mean peace, the peace spoken of here is on a much grander scale than the peace we might imagine. We see peace as the lack of conflict or war, while the shalom of the Bible is a peace that entails a wholeness, a rightness. Not just a wholeness for the individual, but also for his relationships and for the whole world he lives in. With the fall of man in Genesis 3 we saw a multi-layered curse issued because of it, clearly seeing its fruits throughout the world today. This curse affected the relationships between man and God, man and woman, and man and nature. God's desire is for a large scale shalom movement, re-newing and re-novating that which has been incomplete and fractured for thousands of years.

So what does it mean for us today to seek peace? I would argue it entails seeking wholeness in our lives. The first "rightness" we must find is a rightness in our relationship with God. We need what Jesus called a "new birth", or a "second birth". Jesus came to earth, died on the cross, and rose again to bring us from a place of separation from God to a place of union with God. He came to correct that which we were utterly incapable of correcting. In Romans 5:1, Paul declares that we have peace with God through Jesus Christ. This vertical peace spoken of in turn leads to a desire for a horizontal peace, a rightness of relationship with others and with nature. We are taught by God to be good stewards of our friendships, our jobs, our city, and our environment.

The final encouragement is the same in the verb at the end of the verse: "pursue it". It's a reminder that shalom seeking is not always an easy thing to do. In fact, it's just the opposite: very hard and discouraging at times. We see an "anti-shalom" that permeates the earth and even our hearts. It takes the gospel of Jesus transforming our fist-shaking rebellion towards God into clean submitted-hands that work to carry out the very things that Jesus's hands did on the earth. We follow him towards a global shalom. It takes discipline and an intentional focus on the things we hope to see happen, regardless of the initial outcomes. It takes what Nietzsche called "a long obedience in the same direction":

"The essential thing 'in heaven and earth' is... that there should be long obedience in the same direction; there thereby results, and has always resulted in the long run, something which has made life worth living."

Let it be so.

Doing: A Meditation on Psalm 34:14

"...and do good"

This is part 2 of the meditation on Psalm 34:14.

Although the last phrase's emphasis was on the negative (ie saying "no" to evil, turning away, or swerving from evil), we can't let that be the end of the movement. We can't turn from evil and then assume we're "good". It's good to turn away, but what are you turning towards? Something better or worse? The Pharisees found themselves in this same place, turning from evil, but turning towards self-righteousness, in a sense attempting to be their own saviors. This sort of thought process was violently opposed by Jesus, because it led to the Pharisees assuming they were "healthy" when in fact they were just as sick as the tax collectors but completely unaware. They were outwardly healthy but inwardly dead.

So what do we turn towards? Jesus seemed to have a "third way". It wasn't a life spent on pleasure (like the "sinners" he hung out with), but it wasn't a life devoted to meaningless ritual (like the Pharisees he confronted). He invited people to repent of both these paths, and be "born again". This re-birth involved placing a new spiritual heart within people. A new humanity learning to live again under a new King in a new kingdom. Jesus the King was crucified by his subjects under the old kingdom's regime so that today we could live under a new authority, stronger than sin and death (the very things he declared as dead on the cross and evidenced by the empty grave). What do we trust in as we swerve from sin? Our new good deeds? Our good behavior only lasts so long, and then we realize the problem wasn't just our outward actions, but our inward intentions. We're bent outwardly, but primarily inwardly. Jesus' life isn't just meant to "un-bend" our actions, but also our heart. In a strange sense, we all had been kidnapped since birth and Jesus' life was the very ransom that paid for us to be freed from the hands of our captors. We learn to trust in his ransom, recognizing that we lacked the power to ransom ourselves, and then also learn to live a new life that's forever affected and influenced by that very ransom. If you want to read a simple book on this thought, check out Tim Keller's book called "The Prodigal God".

Another thought: often our empty religion can lead us to a list of things we're refraining from (sex, alcohol, rated R movies, fill-in-the-blank morality) but never call us to engage in anything. The word repentance is commonly misunderstood by our generation, and is almost called a bad word. However, in the word "repentance" is the idea that we don't just turn from something, but we also turn toward something. Jesus calls us to follow him. So often we think faith is about abstaining, but it's also about engaging, feasting, delighting, and enjoying God and his gifts. We turn from evil and turn from thinking that our turning suddenly makes us holy, and turn towards Jesus, following Him, trusting in His ransoming sacrifice. Would we consider what are we swerving from but also swerving to?

Those rescued from death, from kidnappers, from a terminal disease always live differently. They are a grateful people. They know what matters. They seem to be present, in the moment. Would we not just settle for outward purity, but an inward joy that leads to a full life of someone who's grateful for the days they have. The gospel is not just about saving people from something, but rather saving people for something. Let's be known not just for what we say "no" to (which is necessary often), but primarily for what we say "yes" to... Would we consider ways of doing good, not just in word but in action. He didn't say, "swerve from evil and talk good (Okie way of saying "talk nicely"), but "do good". Throughout the New Testament, it's clear our faith doesn't just affect a portion of our lives, but rather consumes the whole thing. True religious affections always lead to full expression of life, they must be manifested. The God-life in us always finds its way out into our actions, evidenced by fruit that looks like God. Because of the good work in you, go and "do good".

Swerving: A Meditation on Psalm 34:14

I read this in Robert Alter's "The Book of Psalms" yesterday from Psalms 34:14.

"Swerve from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it."

Other translations say "turn from evil" (NIV), "depart from evil" (NASV), and "turn your back on sin" (The Message). Such a short sentence, but intense in content. As I was thinking through and meditating on it yesterday, I had a few mental jaunts on the particular words David used here. I'll split them up into a few blogs but hopefully there are some inspiring thoughts and practical ways of responding to and living this text in our every day lives. The first meditation will focus in on the initial phrase, "Swerve from evil" and address 3 thoughts that branch out from it.

1) First, this phrase implies there are such clear things such as good and evil, and God gives us an ability to choose or un-choose those things in our lives. He will hold us responsible. We aren't just animals of instinct that have don't have the ability to say "no", but rather are creatures that possess wills and self-control. Evil is not just a subjective assessment determined by individuals who look through the lenses of their upbringing, culture, or life experience and then label something good or evil. It's ultimately determined by God. He created us, and knows the very things that serve to build his image in us and the things that tear down and distort his image in us. God desires that we turn from evil things, things that are anti-God and anti-human for that matter (see pg. 19 of Rob Bell's "Sex God" for some interesting thoughts on this). We are not the final judges, God is. This takes a massive amount of humility to admit and even submit to. It feels wrong at times because we've been fed the exact opposite. We love being told "our reality is the ultimate reality", "we're in charge" and "we call the shots". We don't. We never will. God does. God always will.

2) The second thought I had was connected to the imagery of swerving. When I was in college, we took a trip and had a four hour drive home from San Francisco airport to San Luis Obispo. On our way south, we stopped at a friends house in San Jose for a quick hot tub break. Part of the effects of a hot tub that I had forgotten about was how relaxed and sleepy it makes you after. Unfortunately I had the next slot to drive, and sure enough after a few minutes it was evident I was struggling to stay awake. Not only was I struggling, but everyone else in the car fell asleep except for me and a friend. Luckily, she kept asking me questions to keep my mind active, but at one point she asked me one question and I didn't respond. Not only did I not respond, but the car was set in cruise control veering off the road heading towards a concrete wall. She screamed, "Joel!!! Joel!!!!!!" and a I woke up and was confronted with a decision: drive straight into the concrete wall and crash into it or swerve left back onto the road and miss the concrete wall and ultimately drive to where we were heading in the first place. I didn't set off thinking, "I really want to drive into a concrete wall!" but rather was confronted with that and had a choice to make. For many of us, we don't start off headed in the wrong direction, but by the grace of God are awakened along the way and have to make a decision. "To swerve or not to swerve." Would I remind you all that sin always tastes good for a season, but also yields fruit in season. It might not be immediate, but its seeds are planted and they grow and will bear its fruit of death in your life.

3) The last point I wanted to make regarding this phrase is connected to the passion it shows we should learn to take against sin. Our response to sin shouldn't just be a "oh, I'll guess I'll turn away" but rather a passionate, "I'm not wasting any time" turning. It brings up the memory of Joseph in Genesis 39, who while being enticed by Potiphar's cougar of a wife would say, "How could I do such a wicked thing and sin against my God?". It got to the point where she was tearing his off his clothes (in true cougar fashion) and he had to sprint away. Joseph swerved. He turned away from short-term gratification and ran towards long-term joy. He hadn't just connected his sin to wronging Potiphar his boss, but the big deal for him was sinning against God and followed through with his convictions. We'd hope he'd get his reward immediately from God for his obedience, but was actually thrown in jail for something he didn't do. That doesn't seem like a just scenario, but in the end, Joseph's character was being shaped and God would use him for amazing things.

What do you need to turn away from that you'll eventually crash into? What do you need to swerve from? Who can you talk to about that to hold you to the things you're feeling stirred to turn away from?

Would we be a swerving people.

Open Eyed Prayers

I recall being taught to pray when I was a child with the infamous words: "Bow your head, close your eyes, and fold your hands." Bowing your head? Perhaps sign of submission. Closing your eyes? A sign of our capacity for distraction and potentially acknowledging that God is "somewhere out there" in that dark space, similar to that which we see when we close our eyes. Folding your hands? I'm still not sure.

In his book "Answering God", Eugene Peterson talks about 2 great mystical traditions in prayer:

• Apophatic
• Kataphatic

Apophatic prayer (apophemi or ἀπόϕημι is "no" in Greek) goes the route of "via negativa" by saying close your eyes, don't be distracted from the things around us, for they keep us from God. Kataphatic prayer (kataphemi or κατάϕημι means "yes") chooses a different path, that of the "via affirmativa", allowing the entirety of creation to draw us into our true source, God.

Which path is the best? Of course there is place for apophatic prayers, for we are creatures of excess. We must learn to practice self-control, to refine and at times forfeit things for the sake of greater ones. Through fasting (saying "no" to food or another item or action) we learn to feast on God (saying "yes" to him). However, we must move beyond our "no's" and discover the "yes's"...

This leads us back to childhood training in prayer. Are we teaching kids to think of God "outside" our reality, the reality that one day we'll finally escape to? Or are we teaching our kids (and ourselves for that matter) that God is. He is outside, but also within and around. We learn to see him in the most simple things. Would we not have a Gnostic prayer life that casts aside the "trappings of creation" for a higher spirituality. CS Lewis, in his book "Mere Christianity", said it this way:

"There is no good trying to be more spiritual than God. God never meant man to be a purely spiritual creature. That is why He used material things like bread and wine to put new life into us. We may think this rather crude and unspiritual. God does not: He invented eating. He liked matter. He invented it."

When Jesus performed miracles, he used common elements of creation: mud, spit, jugs of water, fish and bread, rivers, fig trees, pigs, stormy seas, and dead bodies. When Jesus spoke, he always used elements that were in full view around him: vineyards, shepherds, fruit, fathers, weeds, and yeast. Would we join Jesus in his understanding that within creation is an opportunity to meet and see God. Is God those items themselves? No, but in them are a glimpse of him. All of life is sacred.

Would we become like children again, but this time pray not with eyes closed and holds folded, but instead with extended hands and eyes wide open with wonder.

Tasting The Psalms

Over the last couple weeks, I've been taking some time reading through the Psalms first thing in the morning. I've tried a couple morning rituals (ie Divine Hours, Sacred Space, etc.) and am continuing to explore different ways of praying. I haven't gotten super far yet, but it's been life giving. Basically I've been starting with a Psalm a day, reading through it and meditating on it, praying it back in my "own tongue". I've been using a couple tools as I've done this:

1) Robert Alter's "The Book of Psalms".


2) Eugene Peterson's "Answering God: The Psalms As Tools For Prayers"


Robert Alter is a biblical scholar and author who taught Hebrew and Comparative Literature at UC Berkeley, and has translated a lot of the Hebrew Scriptures. Alongside his translation are his commentaries on various passages, why they're hard to translate or understand, or shed some interesting light on words/phrases. I've enjoyed some of the poetic ways he's unfolded some of the psalms. Check it out if you get a chance.

I've also been reading through Eugene Peterson's "Answering God" and have been loving it. I read it a few years ago, but I'm blown away by the stuff I'm re-reading. I highly recommend it, even just for the first 5 chapters. The way he lays out the heart of the Psalms and even explaining the story & rhythm of the psalms is so helpful and encouraging. Here are a few of the quotes:

"All prayer is prayed in a story, by someone who is in the story. There are no storyless prayers. Story is to prayer what the body is to teh soul, the circumstances in which it takes palce. And prayer is to story what the soul is to the body, the life without which it would be a corpse. Prayers are prayed by people who live stories. Every life is a story. We are not always aware that we are living a story; often it seems more like a laundry list. But story it is."

Here's another:

"Spiritualized prayer is denatured prayer, prayer in which all the dirt and noise of ordinary life is boiled out. It is a prayer that cultivates exalted feelings and sublime thoughts. It is prayer that is embarrassed by the coarse subject matter that intrudes itself into most twenty-four hour periods, but takes great pleasure in aphorisms. It is escapist prayer, with scheduled flights to the empyrean. The psalm editors, knowing our weakness for these fantasies, use titles to tie the balloon of prayer to people in a story: for life is always and necessarily lived in detail, and the details are often inconvenient and regular."

I love this thought of story and how the psalm editors placed titles on 116 of the psalms because it reminds us that these prayers are connected to "place, time, and people". That should be a greatly encouraging thought. I'd love to keep on going, but need to get ready for class.

If you ready & pray through the psalms, what disciplines have been helpful for you to engage in meaningful, heartfelt ways? Books?

Murmuring

As I'm reading Robert Alter's translation of "The Book of Psalms", he translates verse 2 of chapter 1 interestingly:

"But the Lord's teaching is his desire, and His teaching he murmurs day and night."

For some reason, I'm used to that word having a negative connotation connected to complaining. However, the word he translated is the verb hagah which means to make a low muttering sound. I also found out that in Hebrew culture there is no silent reading. I haven't researched that, but it's so interesting to know that any reading for the Jew was always meant to be read and heard. We translate this word as "meditate", but in this case, it was an "outloud meditation".

I had some thoughts in response to this "murmuring".

First was this murmuring has substance. Not just a vague thought, but rather "the Lord's teaching". I love Richard Foster's contrast of eastern meditation with biblical meditation. In eastern meditation, there is an emptying of the mind, whereas in biblical meditation there is a feasting of the mind. A focusing. A centering. Would I learn to murmur truth, God's truth. Would that be the desire of my heart, and not just a discipline I force myself to do occasionally.

Secondly, this murmuring is not restricted to "sacred spaces" but rather is meant to permeate and infect every aspect of existence, day and night. To quote a later Psalm, "the earth is the Lord's and everything it." Would our lives too say the same. This murmuring helps anchor us to the truths that ground us. Being such a forgetful people, we need all the help we can get! Would we murmur in the morning as we rise, murmur in the shower, brushing our teeth, murmur at work, in crowds of people and while we are alone. There is no "inappropriate" time to murmur, for every situation can be seen and understood in the context of the gospel. Paul said it this way in his first letter to the church in Corinth, "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." The difference most of the time is not the activity itself (although it can be), usually it's the motivation behind it. AW Tozer described it like this: "If you cannot worship the Lord in the midst of your responsibilities on Monday, it's not very likely that you were worshiping on Sunday either." That's heavy stuff.

Thirdly, I'm just reminded I need to memorize more Scripture. How are we to murmur if we don't have anything to murmur? Would my mind, heart, and lips overflow with the words I'm memorizing. This is a discipline I've consistently ignored for years. I need to start again with a couple simple goals. Maybe try to meet with a couple guys to do it.

Would I be a man who murmurs. Would we be a murmuring people.

Life On The Road

I hit the road yesterday.

It was an unplanned last minute solo road trip to Tulsa. I didn't even really expect this, but each mile I drove down the freeway, I could feel new life seeping into my lungs. With Oklahoma City in the rearview mirror, I recalled how much I enjoy traveling and experiencing new things. The point wasn't Tulsa. The point wasn't even to "get away". I think it was more just breaking the usual routine of my life and reminding myself there's a bigger world out there to enjoy. Life happens outside of my weekly schedule. As I drove in the mad heat singing along to Mat Kearney's new tunes on the radio, I was giddy and child-like. I felt free.

Pulling into Tulsa, I decided to head downtown to Topeca Coffee first (www.topecacoffee.com). I had never been here before, but a barista from Coffee Slingers had competed there a few months prior so I figured it would be a good stop. The environment was inviting and the employees were all amiable. I found out they own their own coffee farm in El Salvador and practice the "seed to cup" philosophy. I savored a vanilla latte and read for a couple hours, then headed over to a local organic cafe called Elote Cafe. Unfortunately they were closed, so I grabbed a bite to eat down on 15th Street at Full Moon Cafe. Hopefully next time I make it up there I can eat at Elote... I guess things downtown in Tulsa close pretty early, cause I was going to try to head to Double Shot Coffee before I left town as well, but found out it closes around 5pm.

After my late lunch, I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. Wasn't sure if I should head down to the Philbrook Museum of Art or head to a movie. I picked Star Trek. :) Star Trek was actually a fun watch and was glad I got to see it (finally). As I finished up the movie, I grabbed a quick coffee at Nordaggio's, snapped a couple photos of the massive praying hands on the ORU campus (I mean massive), and jumped on the 44W heading home.

A few post road trip thoughts:

1) Although I was only gone for 8 or 9 hours (including driving time), I realized I need to do those more often. It's funny how something that doesn't take that much time can be so refreshing and life-giving.
2) As I "explored" Tulsa, I realized I've almost completely stopped doing that in Oklahoma City because I've found "my spots". I need to remember that there is much to still be explored in the place I live. I spent a few minutes talking to one of the baristas at Topeca about good local spots. I should continue to do so in Oklahoma City. There is more discovery around the corner.
3) What are the things that fill your heart with hope and life and joy? Find ways of doing them, even if it is for short periods of time. You'll have much more to offer others in the process of feeling refueled.

"To Make Things New That Never Were" - Walter Bruggemann

We name you wind, power, force, and then,
imaginatively, "Third Person."
We name you and you blow...
blow hard,
blow cold,
blow hot,
blow strong,
blow gentle,
blow new...
Blowing the world out of nothing to abundance,
blowing the church out of despair to new life,
blowing little David from shepherd boy to messiah,
blowing to make things new that never were.
So blow this day,wind,
blow here and there, power,
blow even us, force,
Rush us beyond ourselves,
Rush us beyond our hopes,
Rush us beyond our fears, until we enact your newness in the world.
Come, come spirit. Amen.

The Fiftieth Day

Today is Pentecost Sunday.

Pentecost literally means "fiftieth day". For the Jews, it was related to the harvest festival of Shavuot, the fiftieth day after the exodus where they received the Ten Commandments.

For Christians it marks fifty days after Easter Sunday, the day the Holy Spirit came and visited those 120 fledgling followers in the upper room who gathered to simply wait and pray.

What did they pray? Who knows. It was around nine in the morning, so they probably were practicing fixed hour prayers. Maybe the Shema. Perhaps the Lord's Prayer. It was precisely in their liturgy, "same-ness", and repetition they had done thousands of times before that something extraordinary happened, interrupting their flow (similar to the dedication of Solomon's temple). It was the day of promised power filling each of them, not just the apostles or Peter, but rather every person in that room, male and female, leaking lines from the book of Joel. New tongues unspoken now spoken that all outside could hear in their own language and even dialect. Isn't it beautiful that God didn't perform a miracle and cause all the foreigners and visitors to suddenly comprehend Hebrew as if it were their native tongue? The curse of Babel was repeated, but this time around it came as a blessing, uniting instead of dividing, each listening ear comprehending the truths of God in ways they never had quite heard before. He was calling in a culturally honoring way each tribe, tongue, and nation, reminding them of the dignity of their culture, reminding them the treasures that each unique people have to offer that none else could. This is the birthday of the Church.

Would we also learn to wait. Would we also learn to pray. Would we learn to push through the disciplines and find tongues of fire in them. Would we learn to also go outside our Upper Rooms. Would we also learn to live in a power beyond our own. Would we learn to speak the languages of those around us and affirm their goodness.

Where Babylon Gave Israel A New Song

Found this little excerpt of Alan Jacob's review of a book written by Richard John Neuhaus called "American Babylon" posted on culture-making.com . Some great thoughts on how the Jews time in captivity helped shape them in positive ways (although there was tremendous pain in exile):

"[T]he Babylonian captivity of the Israelites produced social and, yes, technological developments that permanently altered Judaism—that, one might say, made Judaism as a way of life separate from the cult of the Temple in Jerusalem. For it was in that captivity that the synagogue developed—the place for reading and interpreting Torah—and along with it the scribal system by which the debates of the rabbis were recorded, organized, displayed, and passed down to future generations in what we now call the Talmud. And when the Israelites were given the opportunity to return from exile and rebuild the walls of Jerusalem and the Temple, many—among them some leading rabbis and their devoutest students—chose to stay in Babylon. They had come to prefer the new social structures they had made, and the new technologies formed to sustain those structures.

For those of us residing in the American Babylon, this sounds suspiciously like a parable; but it’s important to see that those who chose to stay behind were often neither frivolous nor culpably assimilated into Babylonian life. Moreover, wise historians doubt whether Judaism could have survived its ultimate diaspora were it not for the cultural forms originally built in that captivity."

Katie Herzig & Matthew Perryman Jones "Where The Road Meets The Sun"

KATIE HERZIG & MATTHEW PERRYMAN JONES "WHERE THE ROAD MEETS THE SUN" (LIVE) from SITUATION OPERATION on Vimeo.

Numbering Our Days

"So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom." - Psalm 90:12

Embedded & Deliberative Theology

Theology = theos (Greek word for "God") + logy (Greek for "the study of...").

Every human being has a theology, regardless of their religious affiliation (or lack thereof). This theology very much leads and guides our actions in more ways than we'd imagine. One of my favorite authors AW Tozer, said this in his book "Knowledge of the Holy":

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us... The most portentous fact about any man is not what he at a given time may say or do, but what he in his deep heart conceives God to be. We tend by a secret law of the soul to move toward our mental image of God.”

Therefore, theology can be good or bad in so far as it leads us towards truth and inevitably into a truer humanity (or a lesser form of the same). In a book by Howard Stone and James Duke called "How To Think Theologically", they speak of two kinds of theology:

1) Embedded Theology
2) Deliberative Theology

Embedded theology are things we've believed about God without even realizing it. Since we've been kids, we've heard statements about God or about the way he interacts with us that linger in and affect our understandings without us even realizing it. We've heard some people say, "I'm trusting God will provide me with a job," while we've heard others quote Benjamin Franklin, "God helps those who help themselves." Regardless of our persuasion, those little phrases stick with us and without us knowing it, affect us. Some of these snippets are helpful and good, while others aren't true and need refining.

Deliberative theology is the theology that one develops through a "process of carefully reflecting upon embedded theological convictions... Deliberative theological reflection also carries us forward when our embedded theology proves inadequate." This is the process of pruning and growth that each of us experiment with and experience in life. So often we accept thoughts of God and the way we look at things without even examining them. This sort of theology is worked out in the fire, as we ask true questions of why we think the things we do (and ultimately do the things we do).

Here are a few questions that might be helpful:

• What good theological truths have been embedded in you?
• What are some that you might have believed that aren't true of God or the world, and therefore should be eliminated?
• What are some ways you can take time to intentionally seek some of those areas out?
• Anselm of Canterbury said that theology is "faith seeking understanding". How are you balancing that tension? How are you living in faith? How are you seeking that understanding?

Not the kingdom of death - Walter Brueggemann

Christ is risen!
We give thanks for the gift of Easter
that runs beyond our explanations,
beyond our categories of reason,
even more, beyond the sinking sense of our own lives.
We know about the powers of death,
powers that persist among us,
powers that drive us from you, and
from our neighbor, and
from our best selves.
We know about the powers of fear and greed and anxiety,
and brutality and certitude.
powers before which we are helpless.
And then you... you at dawn, unquenched,
you in the darkness,
you on Saturday,
you who breaks the world to joy.
Yours is the kingdom... not the kingdom of death,
Yours is the power... not the power of death,
Yours is the glory... not the glory of death.
Yours... You... and we give thanks
for the newness beyond our achieving.
Amen.

View From Mount of Olives

(This photo was taken from the top of the Mount of Olives. Just beneath the cemetary is the Garden of Gethsemane.

Well Rested On Good Friday?

(Photo taken in the Garden of Gethsemane)


I woke up today well rested and with a strange feeling.

A strange feeling because I got 8 hours of sleep last night, a luxury Jesus was not afforded from Maundy Thursday on to Good Friday 2000 years ago. Last night, Jesus had the Passover meal with his disciples, sent Judas on his way, then headed to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray around 11:30pm. It's no coincidence that Gethsemane means "oil press". I was reading an article by Jurgen Moltmann in "Bread and Wine", and he pointed out that it was in the Garden that for the first time Jesus does not want to be alone with God. He seeks to be with his closest friends, and they keep falling asleep. They obviously don't understand the depth of struggle Jesus was going through.

Then he is betrayed with a kiss. Not just someone pointing him out and identifying him. Rather, an intimate kiss of one who knew him and his life well. This was the kiss of death, both for Judas and Jesus. I wonder if Judas could forget the look in Jesus' eyes as he approached him. Based off of Judas' suicide that followed, most likely he didn't. As they arrested Jesus, Peter fought back with a sword but Jesus would have no part in the violence. His closest companions ran off, leaving Jesus completely alone (like they had when he prayed). Jesus was led off by the soldiers, feeling the separation from his Father, as well as the betrayal of his friends.

By around 1:30am, He was led to Annas the former high priest as he began receive his intial beatings. He was then taken to Caiaphas, the current high priest and the Sanhedrin court, bloodied by more abuse. He was held prisoner for a couple hours at Caiaphas' palace, and I wonder if he got any sleep or if they had him hung up. They had another trial for Jesus, and decided to hand him over to the Roman government to be executed. The Roman governor Pilate found no guilt in Jesus, who handed him over to Herod Antipas, who quickly handed him back to Pilate because Jesus refused to answer questions. Pilate, in a hard place because he wanted to please the Jews, had Jesus beaten beyond recognition hoping that would appease the angry crowd. The Jews would settle for no less than death, and finally Pilate conceded and gave the orders to execute Jesus.

At this point around 8:30am, the mockery and torture grew in its scale. Fueled by the crowds, and endorsed by the government, Jesus had a crown of thorns beaten into his skull. By 9am, they had Jesus take up his cross (recognize that term?) and walk the road that led outside the city walls. By noon, he was naked and crucified between 2 thieves where all coming in and out of the city could see him. For 3 hours he endured some of the most intense agony man has ever felt. Between the nails hammered through his wrists and dislocated limbs, he couldn't even properly pull himself up on the cross to breathe full breaths. Finally, his lungs and body gave way and Life himself surrendered to death. The death that was mine. The death that was yours. The death that was ours.

That's why I have a strange feeling. I hope today I remember this violent day.

I'm not sure what else I can say, but thank you. We do not deserve such kindness and love.

"Beneath Thy Cross" - Christina Rossetti

Am I a stone, and not a sheep,
That I can stand, O Christ, beneath Thy cross,
To number drop by drop Thy Blood's slow loss,
And yet not weep?

Not so those women loved
Who with exceeding grief lamented Thee;
Not so fallen Peter weeping bitterly;
Not so the thief was moved;

Not so the Sun and Moon
Which hid their faces in a starless sky,
A horror of great darkness at broad noon -
I, only I.

Yet give not o'er,
But seek Thy sheep, true Shepherd of the flock;
Greater than Moses, turn and look once more
And smite a rock.

Approaching Holy Week

I feel a little distracted walking into Holy Week. I'd hope for a softness, an openness to feel the weight of the events that took place 2000 years ago, but that's not there for some reason. It might be my busy-ness, but I'm praying for fresh eyes and a raw heart. Practically I'm started a few things this morning to attempt to engage and opening myself.

One way was something Sam mentioned yesterday in his sermon. He called us to "meditate on the magnitude of the mercy of Christ on the cross." I don't do this nearly enough. To sit, pray, and think on the cross. Maybe find a passage that might speak on this and meditate on it. Pick a small passage and slowly reading and praying through it (look up the discipline of Lectio Divina). Take time this week to slow down, push pause, and be humbled by what you see. One way I try to do this is by writing songs based off the ideas or Scriptures I'm learning from. One I started today was based off of Romans 5:8.

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

What stood out wasn't just that God showed his love for us in Jesus, but that God shows (present tense) his love for us in Jesus. I need to slow down and ask God to remind me of his love seen in his Son's death.

Another way I've been trying to engage is by spending time reading through John Piper's "The Passion of Jesus Christ". He talks about 50 reasons why Christ died as seen in the New Testament. I read the first few today, and my heart began to feel some of the intensity of Jesus' death. The wrath we deserve, the love that he showed, the justice that was served on the cross.

What ways do you engage with Holy Week? Anything that you're doing new this year?

The Gospel's Major And Minor Themes (Essentials*Green)

In his book "Art And The Bible", Francis Schaeffer talks about two themes in the Christian worldview: a major theme and a minor one.

The minor theme expresses the bent and shattered side of humanity as well as creation. That we've deviated from our original purpose and don't know how to fix ourselves. It also has to do with the truth that regardless of someone's profession of faith, their lives are still affected by darkness and live at times in a defeated existence. It reminds us that total and complete victory is a desire of our hearts but unfortunately left unfulfilled while living in a broken world.

The major theme stands opposed to the minor one, and lures us from hopelessness by reminding us that God is (he exists), and we are made in his image. It highlights the truths that in this life, hope and love can be found, that we can free where we were bound, that we can find resurrection where we've known only death. It reminds us that God's kingdom is advancing in the here and now, and that one day he will return and justice will be served. Love will win. Hate, disease, and sin will be exterminated.

Each of us usually have a particular bent towards one of these two. If the bent is toward the minor theme, we might call ourselves realists (while others might label them pessimists). If the bent is towards the major theme, we might call ourselves idealists (while others might say we live in a fantasy world detached from true human existence). How do we account for both in our lives, for both are evident around us (at certain times, one feels stronger than the other)? If we major on the minor and minor on the major, then we lose sight of our truest destiny and give greater weight to something that deserves less weight. This doesn't mean we're not horrified but the cruelty and injustices happening right now in the world, but rather the major theme fuels a response in the here and now. We can approach minor themes without a sense of desperation because we know God will win and overcome in the end (regardless of appearances).

I Need Resurrection

In the season of Lent, we confront the sin in our own hearts. From the heinous to the subtle, and the colorful to the plain. Regardless of how we dress and decorate it, at the end of the day it's all sin that took Jesus to the cross. The sin and our lack to overcome it is a symptom of a deeper condition. We find death where we were intended for life. There is a corpse within all of us, yet we know that corpse was intended for greater things.

I identify with Jon Foreman's lyrics in his song, "Resurrect Me":

I’ve become the empty shell, of a man I don’t like so well
I am a living, breathing hell, come on and resurrect me!

I tried to drown the pain with a friend of mine
It didn’t seem to help
She’s got a pretty face with her wedding lace
But I’m still waking up with myself

I’ve become the shell of a man, I can’t begin to even understand
Have I forgotten who I am? Come on and resurrect me!

I read Jesus' words in John 11:25-27 earlier today that connect with this:

"Jesus said to Martha, 'I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?' She said to him, 'Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one coming into the world.'"

The first interesting thing is that Jesus said this to Martha, the "busy" one. The one who could get things done, accomplished, and checked off her list. Jesus slows her down and says, "You need me. Despite all your outward workings and signs of life, I see the Lazarus inside of you, and I want to call him from his grave and free him to dance again." This is so hard for a prideful generation to hear, but just because it's hard doesn't mean it's wrong. I heard a song once say, "the truth is a hard sell, cause it burns out the lies."

Jesus says that He is the resurrection and the life. He knows well our condition, but also has the power to do something about it. So many people can diagnose our shortcomings, even offering short-term solutions, but Jesus knows that the solution is far beyond just a couple tweaks and a change in mindset. We each need resurrection, our corpses need a second birth.

What was Martha's reply? "I believe that you are the Messiah." Today, what would my response be? Do I believe? Do I trust that the resurrection I need is not only found in Jesus, but is Jesus? Is our belief and trust not just in a nice principle, but rather in a Person who wants us to trust him as he leads us from our cold dark graves into green fields bursting with life? Give us eyes to see how dead we are apart from you.

I need resurrection. We need resurrection.

Re-Storying (Essentials*Red)

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

What is the role of a worship leader? It seems like my answer to that question has varied over the years, depending on what season you found me in. This quote from Dan Wilt in “Essentials In Worship History” struck me as I read it:

“Worship leaders today must stand up again and again before the people, and routinely retell the same messages – forgiveness is possible, grace is irresistible, resurrection of the faithful is inevitable and new creation is just around the bend.”

One of our roles is to be story-tellers. Given our forgetful nature as humans and broken image bearers, we approach and re-approach the story of God in all of its dimensions and call people to look afresh on it. Often this will seem redundant, but wasn’t it Luther who said he re-tells the gospel week in week out because the people would forget and live as if it weren’t true? Therefore, we must acknowledge our role of re-storying those who come every week (or for the first time). We want to remind them who God is, who they are in Him, and why they’re still here. We repeat it, but perhaps in a slightly different light each time in order to allow others to come to a greater understanding of the attributes and acts of God.

Won’t it get old? Don’t people want the “new thing”? If God’s attributes are infinite, just as his mercies are new every morning, then we should have no problems finding new songs to sing or old songs with newly found fire. We have been, are being, and will be greatly saved, so greatly shall we praise him. Let that praise be spoken with our words, songs, and prayers. We will find that the stories re-told fuel our songs as well as our lives over and over.

Sacred Space Prayer

I pause for a moment
and think of the love and the grace that God showers on me, creating me in his image and likeness, making me his temple.

"Lachrimae Amantis" - Geoffrey Hill

What is there in my heart
that you should sue so fiercely for its love?
What kind of care brings you
as though a stranger to my door
through the long night and in the icy dew

seeking the heart that will not harbor you,
that keeps itself religiously secure?
At this dark solstice filled with frost and fire
your passion’s ancient wounds must bleed anew.

So many nights the angel of my house
has fed such urgent comfort through a dream,
whispered “your lord is coming, he is close”

that I have drowsed half-faithful for a time
bathed in pure tones of promise and remorse:
“tomorrow I shall wake to welcome him.”

The Art of Knowing We're Not Alone (Essentials*Red)

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

This week we looked at the languages of art and music, and how they can be useful in connecting us to each other as well as to God. I’ve found that at times it’s nearly impossible to verbalize how one feels, but a melody might help capture a particular emotion, or maybe a color best describes one’s mood. Maybe you find yourself nearly weeping in a movie because for some reason you identify with a character in the story,or see yourself in a character’s eyes in a painting. Why is that?

Often I find that art steps in when words can’t. Indeed it does bypass much of our critical thinking, and allows us to feel something. In that moment, I’ve come to realize why I value connecting with that piece of art: it reminds me I’m not alone. Others have felt what I feel, although not exactly, for no one has lived in my shoes under the exact same circumstances. When I find something that allows me to say, “That’s exactly what I was trying to say, but didn’t know how,” it allows me to feel understood, less crazy. Others fight with the same battles too, so don’t give up.

This is, in a way, a call for artists to continue to bleed and weep and laugh till you cry onto the canvases we create. Express the deepest emotions and longings and the saddest hues of darkness and brightest shades of joy you can. Tell of the “mundane”, the ordinary, and even the boring. For when those who walk down that same road as you do (either now or 20 years from now) and see or hear or experience your work, they will know they are known.

Dorothy Sayers Quote

"To make the Easter story into something that neither startles, shocks, terrifies, nor excites is ‘to crucify the Son of God afresh.’"

The Interconnectedness of Baptism and Eucharist (Essentials*Red)

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

In our reading for the week, this was a quote that stood out to me from James White’s book “A Brief History of Christian Worship”:

“Baptism is initiation into God’s new Kingdom of which the Church is a colony on earth. The Eucharist is a lifelong renewal of baptism’s initial foretaste of God’s kingdom.”

Although both are clear Sacraments we participate in (or have participated in), I had never thought about their connection with one another. I love the imagery provided in Baptism of this renouncing one lifestyle (facing the West, symbolic of evil, sin, and satan’s kingdom), and then turning towards the East (symbolic of the dawn, new beginnings, new creation), acknowledging Jesus as Lord, being immersed into our death and now emerging as ones who live for him.

On the same note, as we come to the “table” for Eucharist (be it a couple people holding the elements out for us as we wait in line, an actual table, or a tray we pass around), we acknowledge that this is the only table our souls are fed by. In that sense, we renounce other sources of satisfaction, claiming only the bread and the wine as our sustenance.

I love the idea that the Eucharist is a “renewal of vows” to God. It is a regular turning toward Him. Perhaps we compare Baptism to a wedding, while Eucharist represents the both people now in that marriage regularly “choosing” each other, over and over and over. Pursuit is never a passive thing, always active. Obviously in Baptism and Eucharist, we are reminded that we were first pursued and loved before we could pursue and love! Still, that pursuit of us and that love we feel demands a response. Eucharist is one of the main ways we re-acknowledge our status as “beloved” but also it reminds us to extend that uncontainable love to the loveless.

The Prayer Bicycle (Essentials*Red)

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

As we reflect on the languages of public prayer and public reading of Scripture in our Essentials*Red class, I’ve been led to a few thoughts:

The first is how self-focused our spirituality is. Rarely will we see our faith as a living dynamic between those of who journey around us. Yes, the reality of personal salvation and redemption is true, as well as the fact that each of us will individually stand before God on judgment day. However, we must also remember that God has called to himself a people (not a person), a building (not a brick), and a body (not a specific body part). Each of us uniquely plays a role, but let us not arrogantly assume our faith exists apart from community. Communal activities remind us we are not alone. As we find ourselves strong, we are called to lift those around us. As we find ourselves weak, we are called to be help up by those around us. As we hear each other speak, we are reminded of how big a God we serve is and how vast his attributes are. Without those around voicing their praises and perspectives, we would find ourselves with a less comprehensive vocabulary of worship.

Secondly, public prayer and public reading help remind us of their role in our personal lives. So often, I’ll find myself dry and unaware of even how to approach God. My words feel short and inadequate. Doubts surprise my faith with their strength. Whatever the case, something happens when a group of people get together to pray and read God’s Word. It’s almost as if there’s a cumulative “faith pot” in the middle of the room, and as people come in and pour out their hearts to God and others, that faith builds and becomes bigger than that individual person’s faith. We hear someone gratefully utter, “You are so so good to me…” Something in their voice strikes you as genuine and you too are reminded of God’s goodness to you and your family. Someone else speaks out of his faithfulness, and you’re in agreement again. Something grows within your heart, restoring lost trust, and as you leave that room and that group of people, it’s almost as if that cumulative faith is not left behind but taken with you. When you come home to pray in your room and your “closet”, suddenly your requests and cries and praises have more substance and weight to them. Public fuels the private.

Thirdly, private prayer feeds into public prayer. What do we have if it’s not truly a part of our lives? Jesus complained that people would worship God with their mouths but their hearts would be far from him. Private prayer and scripture reading increase our faith as we come back into the public settings. Maybe the week before, you dropped a mustard seed into the cumulative faith pot, but the week after you might throw 3 seeds in. I know it’s perhaps a lame analogy, but we must grasp how important it is for us to fast and pray and give to the poor not because we’re seen by the public eye but because we love God and want to serve him when no one else can see us and will acknowledge it (Matt. 6:1-18). There’s something beautiful and right about that, something I hope to do more. From that place of private interaction, we can come into the public places with more confidence because it’s a continuation of your life instead of something you’re trying to convince yourself of. Often I feel like I’m jump starting a car as I lead people in worship, or doing mouth to mouth resuscitation. There was no activity there to work from and build off of. Imagine a church completely surrendered to God in the public places as well as the private places!

So what do bicycles have to do with any of this? As you pedal a bicycle, imagine only having one leg, or one pedal for that matter. It’d definitely be an interesting sight. It would be awkward to start pedaling if the bike were stopped, needing much more force than if you had two. I wonder if our prayer life is similar to pedals on a bike. We need private prayer (one pedal) and public prayer (the other pedal). Each one feeds into the other and helps maintain balance and strength. Both legs are built up instead of just one. Would we learn how to continually live using both pedals!

Priest at St. Paul's during Ash Wednesday Service

"Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."

Lent is beautiful because I need these reminders.

Quote from D. Maddalena

(In response to David’s question in Psalm 79:5, “How long, O Lord? Will you be angry forever? Will your jealous wrath burn like fire?”)

"Easter was the once-for-all-time answer to this question. Jesus took our place on the cross to appease God’s righteous anger. He went alone to be punished: separated from God and deserted by his friends. The drama of how this happened is the story of Lent… Before the Resurrection comes crucifixion; before crucifixion comes prosecution; before prosecution comes betrayal, doubt, fear, rebellion, and sin. Lent helps us experience our part in the Passion (suffering) of Jesus. We face our humanity during Lent: we learn that sin still dwells in us, that we still carry darkness. We learn that we would likely have fallen asleep as Jesus prayed for deliverance in the garden, and we would likely have denied knowing him as he silently accepted his death sentence."

Lent Prayer

I read this prayer from Walter Brueggemann’s book of prayers “Awed To Heaven, Rooted In Earth” yesterday:

“Loss is indeed our gain”

The pushing and the shoving of the world is endless.
We are pushed and shoved.
And we do our fair share of pushing and shoving
in our great anxiety.
And in the middle of that
you have set down your beloved suffering son
who was like a sheep led to slaughter
who opened not his mouth.
We seem not able,
so we ask you to create the spaces in our life
where we may ponder his suffering
and your summons for us to suffer with him,
suspecting that suffering is the only way to come to newness.
So we pray for your church in these Lenten days,
when we are driven to denial-
not to notice the suffering,
not to engage it,
not to acknowledge it.
So be that way of truth among us
that we should not deceive ourselves.
That we shall see that loss is indeed our gain.
We give you thanks for that mystery from which we live.
Amen.

Most of this book is posted here if you want to read more:

http://books.google.com/books?id=RMQxm2o0-zUC&printsec=frontcover&dq=inauthor:Walter+inauthor:Brueggemann

Thoughts On Creating Cathedrals Of Time (Essentials*Red)

For: The Institute of Contemporary And Emerging Worship Studies, St. Stephen’s University, Essentials Red Online Worship History Course with Dan Wilt.

Time. What a strange creation that every human is plagued by! Similar to gravity, we are born under its spell that is only to be broken upon death. How do we even deal with it? What a gift, and what a curse… We hear statements like, “Time flies by so quickly, ” and, “I wish I had more hours in the day!” Each second that ticks brings us closer to our graves, reminding us how mortal and finite we really are.

Throughout history, every civilization has developed their own unique way of interacting with time. The Jews have offered us a very interesting perspective on time and how we can use it in our worship as well as how to be shaped by it. In the book “The Sabbath”, Abraham Heschel says that, “Judaism teaches us to be attached to holiness in time, to be attached to sacred events, to learn how to consecrate sanctuaries that emerge from the magnificent stream of a year…” He elaborates later by saying, “Jewish ritual may be characterized as the art of significant forms in time, as architecture of time. Most of its observances – the Sabbath, the New Moon, the festivals, the Sabbatical and the Jubilee year – depend on a certain hour of the day or season of the year. It is, for example, the evening, morning, or afternoon that brings with it the call to prayer. The main themes of faith life in the realm of time.”

In the Old Testament we read about their 3 yearly festivals where they would gather in Jerusalem to worship as a people and re-tell essential parts of their story as a nation. We learn about their 3 daily fixed hour prayer times as they recited the Psalms and other prayers like the Shema (“Hear O Israel! The Lord our God, the Lord is One…”). This was a powerful prayer in a time where polytheism and pagan gods dominated the spiritual landscape. We also discover how crucial a weekly Shabbat (or Sabbath) was to their existence. This day of rest absolutely separated them from other civilizations at the time. It was a day connected to their understanding of creation as well as their redemption from Egypt. Shabbat was the climax of their week and ordered their lives. On the 3 days following Shabbat they would thank God for giving them that gift of rest, while the next 3 days were spent preparing their hearts for the next. In talking about this sacred day, Heschel said, “The Sabbaths are our great cathedrals; and our Holy of Holies is a shrine that neither the Romans nor the Germans were able to burn…”

What an interesting idea! The thought that similar to how we shape matter, we can shape time. Add to that the notion that how we shape time ends up shaping us… Think about it. Everyone has a “life liturgy”, regardless of their spiritual inclinations. Picture your whole day as a liturgy that plays out. Each part of that liturgy ascribes worth to something. What does our culture’s liturgy say about time and what we prioritize? What cathedrals have we built? What shrines have we bowed down to?

Then I consider my own life. I look over my day from when I rise till I lay my head down. Are the things I say I value and hold dear reflected in how I relate to time? What sort of buildings have I built of time? Are they beautiful and majestic or stained and dingy? Are they sturdy on a rock, or sinking in the sand? Is there substance to them or am I surrounded by thin paper walls? Help me be an architect of time, so that at the end of my days I live in a city whose buildings are forged of gold and not straw!